REBEL UPDATES:
15 JULY 08
NAMELY:
COUNTRY TEASERS: HORSE HOSPITAL: FRIDAY 25 JULY
also:
COUNTRY TEASERS: THE FORUM KENTISH TOWN: THURSDAY 31 JULY:
plus support from MUDHONEY, playing after COUNTRY TEASERS.
I know it's exciting, right?
19 MAY 08
SECRET GIG! COUNTRY TEASERS! THURS 22 MAY!
22 MARCH 08
New
York's WFMU Radio Station running
a special show of
The Rebel, on Tuesday 25th March, 3-6pm on the
Brian Turner show. Like the Rebel's own radio
station found
here, but WFMU reaches more people.
19 FEBRUARY 2008
High
babe, how our yous? yeah, great!
I'm personally having a put this into this weeks' newsletter
on the website great italics great time here, in new york city america!
Where the Rebel group is on tour for 4 days 4 gigs in 4 days yo.
WEDNESDAY THE KNITTING FACTORY.
FRIDAY THE MARKET HOTEL, C/O TODDP
SATURDAY
THYE UH THEOTHER PLACE NO THAT'S
NOT WHAT IT'S CALLED BUT IT SMELLS OF TEAM SPIRIT
THEY WORK AS A TEAM IN HORD THERE.
Hey
babes whot's hapeenin? All the se weeks that i'd bin wrappin
at yoh that i didn't know was only html between us, yo? html, html,
you only lackt a hemp-stead. Html Htempstead, bbirthplace
of not only johns cousins and lydon but also johns lee hooker ford
mcenroe and bull! Not short doth the list fall there but nay goesth
on unto DOE LEWIS TAYLOR (DURAN DURAN) and WHORLDOCK.
John Walrodog dear children did once did rule the seas north
of pakistan where in 1570 the eveil prince BOGFUCKSHITCUNTMOHAMMEDDEATHTHREAT-
BULLSHITRELIGIONFUCKGODFUCKSACREDTRIBLFUCKINGTWATFUCKALLOFYOUFUCKINGDOGMATICCUNTS
did rule oh my darling. He there didstht do a massive shite onto the head
of our
lord and savious je-mo-ham-es-ed-sus, the guy with the FUCKING BEARD from
PAKISTAN OR OWT. He got shafted for it though: Geoffrey Boycott hits him
every time a snail coughs in a french boudoir foll de roll. Well anyway
check out my
progress in supermario golf online at ,
celebritygameboychampionships.benwallersvjohnmcenroe.com.org.slash.forwardslash
dot com.co.uk
lots
of love you darling old buddy old pal,
Philip Marlowe, be'est old buddy!
23 JANUARY 2008
NEW GIG DATES ANNOUNCED - LONDON AND NEW YORK.
AND NEW TO THE SHITE:
ARTISTIC MONOGRAPH: THE DRAWINGS OF THE REBEL
EDITED WITH AN ESSAY BY TONY PEARSON.
11 JANUARY 2008
THE REBEL RADIO STATION IS LAUNCHED
FOLLOW THIS LINK: RADIO
02 JANUARY 2008
NEW YEAR MINI TOUR OF THE LOW COUNTRIES:
BRUSSELS - 11 JAN
AMSTERDAM - 12 JAN
ROTTERDAM - 13 JAN
08 DECEMBER 2007
DARLING HERE WE ARE WRITING A NEWSLETTER AT LAST. HOW MEANINGLESS IT SEEMS! WHAT'S THE POINGT? ASKS MY LITTLE BOXING PARTNER, LITTLE LORD SPARTNEROY. "YOU NOULDN'T KNACK OB DE BOSE AGAID, BOZ" HE SAYS THROUGH A BLOODY LITTLE SHIT ON HIS FACE IN THE NASAL AREA. "YEAH?" I REPLY. "I'VE GOT A FUCKING LESS OF A FUCKING A BLAAAAGGHHHD WHATEVER YEAH FUCK OFF". I WASN'T COHERENT BECAUSE NOT I HAD BEEN ROUNDLY TESTED IN THE RING, NO, BUT BECAUSE I WAS ABSOLUTELY NOW LOSING MY MARBLES, IT WAS BEYOND A SEXY CHARACTER-TINT. THE PLAGUE WAS GETTING TO US. THE OTHER CREW MEMBERS WERE EITHER DEAD OR COMPLETELY USELESS WAITING TO DIE IN THE BELOWSTAIRS. MIDSHIPMAN POLITOWICZ AND I WERE IN CHARGE OF THE SHIP; AND WE WERE INDEED ITS ONLY GUESTS, FOR THERE WAS NO LONGER ANY AGENDA, THAT HAVING DIED WITH THE PREVIOUS CAPTAIN, JOSEPH PARTWORK. IT WAS 2 WEEKS SINCE I HAD LUGGED HIS BODY OFF THE EDGE; SHARKS CAME UPON HIM QUICKLY; HE WOKE UP SCREAMING; I DIVED IN TO SAVE HIM DID I FUCK NO WAY BUT HE WASN'T ALIVE AGAIN FOR LONG BEFORE THEY HIT AN ARTERY AND THEN ATE HIM BY CHUNKS LEAVING ONLY HIS HEAD MOANING AWAY THERE ON THE SURFACE GIVING US A LAST ATTEMPT AT A CURSE. "YOU'LL KNOW THE SHARP REAL HORROR OF SHARK-MAUL-DEATH, BEN WALLERS!" HE GURGLED PRACTICALLY INAUDIBLE; I ONLY KNOW THAT'S WHAT HE (IT) SAID BECAUSE MIDSHIPMAN POLITOWICZ WAS ON LOWER-DECK SLOPPING-OUT DETAIL AND HAD A CLOSE PROXIMITY TO THE FLOATING HEAD THERE, YUP. GOD KNOWS WHAT HE MEANT BY "BEN WALLERS"; MY NAME'S TONY PEARSON; MIDSHIPMAN POLITOWICZ WAS MARRIED ONCE TO A FELLOW WITH AN ENGLISH NAME THOUGH; I WONDER IF THAT'S WHOM HE MEANT. BEN WALLERS. SOLID NAME; SHAME ABOUT THE FINAL "S" THOUGH. MUST HAVE CAUSED A LOT OF ANNOYING IRRELEVANT CRAP, "NO IT'S WOLL - ER ZZZ, WITH AN S" ALL THAT CRAP MEANINGLESS WASTEY-TIME. WE FLOATED AIMLESSLY FOR 2 OR 3 WEEKS. MIDSHIPMAN POLITOWICZ AND I KEPT THE BOREDOM AND DESPAIR AT BAY WITH ALOT OF DIVERSE AND UNCOMFORTABLE SEXUAL EXPERIMENTS. THEN WE CAME UPON THE WIERD SHIP I HAVE BEEN BUILDING UP TO TELLING YOU ABOUT. IT WAS MADE OF BLACK RUBBER, BUT A SHINY RUBBER. WE MOORED UP TO IT AND TOUCHED IT, DIG. SHAPED SOMEWHAT LIKE A BOAT BUT INFINITELY SLEEKER, THE SHINY RUBBERY MATERIAL OF ITS COMPOSITION GAVE TO THE TOUCH AND REVERBERATED WITH A LOW TONE, NOT A DEAD NON-TONE LIKE YOU WOULD EXPECT FROM RUBBER. WE BOARDED, BUT COULDN'T FIND ANY ENTRANCE. THERE WERE NO SAILS; IT LOOKED LIKE IT MIGHT HAVE OVERTURNED BUT WHEN WE DIVED UNDER WE FOUND THAT ITS HULL WAS PRACTICALLY NIL, I MEAN IT HARDLY EXISTED BELOW THE SURFACE, WE COULDN'T ASCERTAIN HOW IT WAS BOUYANT. ANYWAY WE FINALLY FOUND AN ENTRANCE, A TINY DOOR BIG ENOUGH ONLY FOR MIDSHIPMAN POLITOWICZ'S HEAD, WHICH WE STUCK THROUGH AFTER LOBBING A TORCH IN THERE. THE INSIDE OF THE MYSTERIOUS CRAFT WAS COMPLETELY HOLLOW, A VOID THE SAME SHAPE AS ITS SHELL, COMPLETELY UNCOMPLICATED BY CHAMBERS OR CORRIDORS OR COMPARTMENTS. "WHAT CAN YOU SEE IN THERE!" I REMEMBER HISSING TO MIDSHIPMAN POLITOWICZ AS SHE TRIED TO MAKE SOMETHING OUT IN THE DARKNESS. "HANG ON", SHE SAID, AND REPLACED HER HEAD WITH AN ARM. SHE FELT AROUND AND BROUGHT HER ARM BACK WITH A HANDFUL OF BRITTLE PLASTIC SQUARES; "THE WHOLE SPACE IS EMPTY APART FROM ABOUT 3000 OF THESE THINGS." I LOOKED AT ONE OF THE SQUARES. IT WAS LIKE A BOOK, WITH A FRONTISPIECE AND A SORT OF LIST OF CHAPTERS OR SOMETHING ON THE BACK. PRESENTLY I REALISED IT COULD BE OPENED; INSIDE WAS A PRETTY PLASTIC DISC WITH SIMILAR WRITING ON IT. WE COLLECTED AS MANY SAMPLES AS WE COULD AND RETURNED TO OUR SHIP. WE WATCHED THE BLACK RUBBER SHIP GETTING SMALLER BEHIND US AS WE CONTINUED ON THE ROUTE WE WERE HOPING WAS EAST. "WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS?" I ASKED MIDSHIPMAN POLITOWICZ. "WELL IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS THAT THIS SHIP IS A TRADING VESSEL WHICH HAS SUFFERED SOME KIND OF CATASTROPHE PROBABLY A PLAGUE OR SUMMAT WHILE IT WAS ON ITS WAY TO DISTRIBUTE ALL THESE CDS". "SEE-DEES?" I MIMMICKED IGNORANTLY. "COMPACT DISCS," SAID MIDSHIPMAN POLITOWICZ. "THEY ARE THE NEW WAY OF RECORDING SOUND; MOZART AND ALL THOSE GUYS ARE ALL ON CD NOW. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS ARTIST IS, 'THE REBEL'. AND WE DON'T HAVE A CD PLAYER SO WE CAN'T LISTEN TO THE ALBUM, "MOUTHWATERING CLAUSTROPHOBIC CHANGES". "THAT'S THE TITLE OF THE ALBUM?" I ASKED. "YEAH," SHE REPLIED. "IT HAS BEEN WRITTEN ON AN ADVERT FOR JOHN LEWIS. MOUTHWATERING CHANGES. HE'S INSERTED 'CLAUSTROPHOBIC' FOR SOME REASON BEST KNOWN TO HIS NEVER-TO-BE-KNOWN-NOW SELF!" WE LAUGHED FOR QUITE A WHILE AT THE PATHOS OF THE SITUATION. A CHARACTER, CLEARLY DESPERATE TO COMMUNICATE, HUGELY FEELING, DYING TO REACH OUT; PUTS ALL HIS CDS ON A SHIP AND TRIES TO PILOT IT TO ANOTHER WORLD; GETS THE PLAGUE AND DIES, HIS WHOLE OUTPUT GOING INTO OBLIVION WITH HIM. NOTHING. MEANINGLESS. POIGNTLESS. WHAT A SHAME!" WE HAD A FUCKING GOOD LAUGH AND GOT THE CARPET BOWLS OUT. THE SEA WAS ABSOLUTELY STILL. THE BOWLS ROLLED ALONG THE CARPET ACCORDING TO THEIR SLOWLY CURVING BIASES ... HARMONY; PEACE; CALM. WE THANKED NEPTUNE FOR MAKING US INTO SHIPMEN. WE DIDN'T WANT TO BE LANDLOCKED LIKE A MISERABLE WHINING LONDON BASTARD.
07 DECEMBER 2007.
04 JULY 2007.
THERE HAS BEEN A PRINTING ERROR. ALL MUSIC FANS WHO WANT TO BUY THE REBEL'S NEW E.P. ON EMPEROR JONES RECORDS "TARSCOFFSKI'S THE SNACKRIFICE" PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THE REBEL DID NOT PUT HIS COCK ON THE SLEEVE. PLEASE SEE THE PICTURE BELOW FOR THE WAY THE REBEL DESIGNED THE OFFENDING PICTURE. SEE HOW CAREFULLY THE REBEL HID HIS COCK FROM THE VIEWER INCL. HIS PARENTS WITH THE LARGE FONT "THE REBEL". SOMEHOW THIS LAYER OF PHOTOSHOP HAS SHIFTED IN TRANSIT, JUST LIKE A NON VIRTUAL LAYER OF ARTWORK IN THE OLD DAYS. NOW THE REBEL'S COCK IS EXPOSED!
WELL IT'S NOT AS BAD AS ALL THAT REALLY; IT ISN'T A REAL COCK; PENIS I
MEAN TO SAY, I SHOULD SAY PENIS; IT WAS ONLY A PHOTOSHOPPED PENIS ANYWAY.
IT WAS CUT AND PASTED FROM A PHOTOGRAPH FOUND ON THE WEB. BUT A LOT OF
CARE WAS TAKEN AT ALL STAGES OF THE PROCESS NOT TO INFLICT A COCK I SHOULD
SAY A PENIS ONTO THE RECORD-BUYER. AND NOW THAT ENDEAVOUR IS REVERSED
AND THE REBEL WILL BE MISTAKEN FOR A VISUAL RAPIST. IF ONLY I DIDN'T SPEND
MY WHOLE LIFE TELLING JOKES AND MAKING THINGS UP; NOW, I AM DESPERATE
TO BE UNDERSTOOD! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!
5 FEBRUARY 2007.
NEW ALBUM - KUFR
5 JANUARY 2007
NEW YEAR'S LETTER:
PLUS UPCOMING GIGS:
THE REBEL AT THE DIRTY WATER CLUB, BOSTONS IRISH PUB, TUFNELL PARK, NEAR
KENTISH TOWN, KENT, LONDON.
ON : JANUARY THE TWELFTH OF JANUARY.
LAUNCHING THE HOT NEW DEMO TAPE "KUFR" BY THE REBEL, AND TANITA
TIKARAM'S NEW ALBUM "(DID YOU) OOH AT HIS PERENIUM"
END OF JANUARY SUPPORTING THE HOSPITALS AND THE SKATERS AT PIT'S IN KORTRAIG, BELGIUM AND IN PARIS.
ALSO SEE UPSET THE RHYTHM FOR 2 OTHER GIGS LIKE THAT. IF YOU LIKE HI ENERGY
AND LOW ENERGY AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN YOU'LL LIKE THE HOSPITALS AND
THE SKATERS, FROM SAN FRANCISCO RESPECTIVELY.
DECEMBER 16 2006:
OCTOBER 24 2006:
DARLING, AS USUAL, APPLE CUT AND APPLE V THIS WHOLE LOVING ORDURE RIGHT UP ONTO THE READY LAP OF OUR DELICIOUS WEBOIR, OUR WEMBRE, OUR WEBROTHEL, OUR WEOUNGE, OUR WEBDRAWING ROOM, OUR INTERSNUG, OUR E-BILLIARDS ROOM, OUR ONLINE BATH...(CONTINUED)
SEPTEMBER 16 2006:
NEW GIGS:
APRIL 2ND 1980:
I GOT UP AND HAD BREAKFAST. I WENT ON MY BIKE WHEN SUDDENLY ...(CONTINUED)
19 JULY 2006:
CAN
YOU ANNOUNCE THE T-SHIRT ON THE SHOP PAGE!
08 JULY 2006:
6/6/6 IN GEORGIA.
I made the mistake of obtaining a bag of leads left by a previous artist.
Of course it was DAMIEN. I used the PURPLE lead next night in Knoxville.
Guess what, it pulled the entrails of my guitar out with it!
27 JUNE 2006:
baby,
are you there?
got to tell the people the COUNTRY TEASERS are live on
wfmu RADIO right now!
i mean right now it's playing; i hope it'll be on the archive for a week
at least... are you there?
CAN YOU PUT THIS NOTICE UP ON THE HOMEPAGE??
lots of love!
25 JUNE 2006:
"HOLA AMIGOS SORRY I AIN'T RAPPED AT YA IN A WHILE but i'e been on tour slugging my guts out every night. I had hoped to write a tour diary but with a group of 5, there's never enough email-check time to go around as we attempt to get going from our host's pad in the morning. As a beautiful person i let the rest of the group go first; as a misanthropist who hates communication, i used this as an excuse to avoid emails for 6 weeks. I am hating this return to the dismal chore. How do you admire THOSE apples, mothfucker! No but seriously TOUR DIARY TO FOLLOW SOON, WATCH THIS SPACE!!!!! Party of 5 is right, by the way. 4 Baileys and at least 3 of the little girl nobody understands boo hoo."
28 MARCH 06:
THIS WEEK'S AND NEXT WEEK'S NEWSLETTERS!!
27 MARCH 06:
NEW PICTURES:
8 MARCH 06:
THURSDAY
MARCH 16, 2006
DAY PARTY AT FURNITURE RESIDENCE
1009 E. 44th St.
AUSTIN, TEXAS
1:00 PM
The Rebel (London, UK)
Indian Jewelry (Los Angeles, CA)
Jana Hunter (Austin, TX)
Times New Viking (Columbus, OH)
Grey Daturas (Melbourne, AUS)
Electroshockbox (Tucson, AZ)
Daniel Francis Doyle (Austin, TX)
Make Arising (Phila, PA)
6 MARCH 06:
If you could see your humble servant now with Quebec by WEEN on his headphones kettle on the boil new artwork in progress...
3
MARCH 06:
India have become as a prostitue daughter to me,
Go away from my eyeline now! that you fornicate Nuclearly with America,
the great satan! You see...
1 MARCH 06:
"RIVERS OF SHIT FLOWING THROUGH UNSERVICED AREAS OF BASRA Iraq aren't stopping a wonderful week's progress for The Rebel this week as we found ourselves quite out of the blue being nominated for...
10 FEBRUARY 06:
Buy albums for The Rebel and Country Teasers. PAYPAL to follow shortly...
1 FEBRUARY 06:
Happy New Year everyone, I have given up white whine and bad beers for my stomach. I have taken up the habit practiced in Japan of eating raw fish and drinking Sake, the best brand of which being Fuck's, a far superior label to the more popular Christ's. The resultant effect on our musical poutput - i use the word "our" advisedly - has been a 100% success rate so far...(more)
+
Rebel's MARCH GIG AT SOUTH BY SOUTHWEST
MUSIC FESTIVAL AUSTIN TEXAS
see http://www.hookorcrook.com
22 JANUARY 2006:
EMPEROR'S
NEW HATS PAGE UPDATED
WITH NEW HATS...
13 JANUARY 2006:
COUNTRY TEASERS PLAY ALL TOMORROWS PARTIES -
1ST WEEKEND: 12,13,14 May 2006
Follow this link to the ATP website:
12 JANUARY 2006:
Updated gigs: in Brighton, Bristol and London, jan-march 06.
when the Rebel is a three piece, these are the three pieces:
23 DECEMBER 2005:
Here
is the christmas message from the Emperor on the tree: "Kill the
jews, because they killed our christmas Baby, the mule-borne infant Jesus.
The jews all ganged up on him that chilly winter's morn and mailed him
to a tree, which is why we all good protestants, catholics and heil jesus
celebrate it with a tree, soaked ghreen with his special alien blood which
also smelt like pine because joseph was a carpenter and his white ford
van, all battered and characterful because he couldn't really upgrade
yet although he was doing pretty well, and probably next year or the year
after he'll upgrade to a V or Y reg, probably with better storage, was
all bedecked around with fragrance car-trees, anyway we've hung a few
of those fragrance trees around the stable to stop it smelling of cow
arsehole.
So therefore the Emperor says from his position on the christ tree "Kill
a Jew for Christ, they killed our Baby Noel". Not really! Only joking!
May all peoples of the world at this time be fucking crap shit hole waste
oF money hasten the apocalypse £200 minimum spending and that's
just on the fucking kids.
The Emperor, I have had 3 gluweins, I do not mean anything I said.
SOMETIME IN SEPTEMBER 05
SOMETIME IN SEPTEMBER
ALBUM LAUNCH(PRAWNS)
NANG - THE EXHIBITION...